September 12, 2008

The Dejection Mark


I dare say it has been more than 300 years since new punctuation has been integrated into the English language. We currently have the question mark to convey the interrogatory and an exclamation point to convey excitement, but what about when we want to convey a voice utterly distraught with sadness? Nothing.

Today I propose a new symbol be incorporated into our written (mostly typed) language - the "^" sign, or as it shall now be called: the dejection mark. So if you want to be trendy, all you have to do is hit "SHIFT 6" after typing an especially disheartening sentence. This can also be used in written word (sorry, but there is no cursive version of the dejection mark).

There are several reasons why I nominate this symbol be the one:
1) Clearly we need something that is already on the standard American keyboard
2) It looks like an intense frown
3) What else is it being used for?
Take a look at the following sentence with our current 'Standard English' form of punctuation:
This litter of newborn kittens is dead.
I'm not entirely convinced that the speaker even has a heart, to be typing something so horrific yet with absolutely no trace of emotion. I will now try it with the "frown" punctuation:
This litter of newborn kittens is dead^
Much more appropriate.

SIGN THAT THIS TREND HAS CAUGHT ON: Junior high English teachers count OFF points when a dejection mark is not utilized.
HAS THIS TREND CAUGHT ON YET? No^

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

Makes tons of sense. Finally, now I can employ a piece of punctuation without having to utilize the dreaded frowny face. ^ instead of :(

Anonymous said...

You are welcome for the penny I just earned you

Anonymous said...

I'll agree to do this as long as it is never considered an "emoticon".

Anonymous said...

DUDE! that's brilliant!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Anonymous said...

I used to live in your guest room^